Feb. 2, 2023 Cancer is still part of my life, as evidenced by my ongoing follow-up appointments with my medical oncologist and my radiation oncologist, along with my daily medication regimen. Even though they are now at 6 month intervals, I have to return to my cancer patient role each time. With everything else that […]
Grief in all its forms
January 24, 2023 It was a trying day today. So trying that I needed to cry. I’m highly aware of the need to allow all the emotions as they arise. And how allowing moves us toward rebalancing and healing much more quickly than we may experience when we don’t allow our emotions to “just be.”Repressing […]
Uncertainty
Nov. 26, 2022 This week was Thanksgiving. It was a touching reminder of all the things to be grateful for in the midst of our current challenges. It was also a full blown demonstration of how conflicting emotions can exist at the same time. Sadness coupled with joy, reflections on past holidays and missing departed […]
Tears
November 16, 2022 Crying every day is my “new normal.” Living with and through the endless grief of watching my spouse’s increasingly rapid deterioration from Parkinson’s is beyond anything I’ve ever had to cope with so far in this life. There are so many conflicting emotions, it is hard to process all of them at […]
Today was full of unexpected surprises—good and not so good.
October 21, 2022 Today was my brother’s mother-in-law’s funeral. She was known to me as Yia Yia Teddie, an accomplished Greek mom and grandmother. She was 92 years old. She left behind four daughters (one of whom is my sister-in-law) and their families, grandchildren and great grandchildren, most of whom gathered together yesterday and today […]
Today Feels Heavy
October 4, 2022 Today feels heavy… I’m sitting with my emotions as I wait for the train that will take me to my radiation oncology follow up appointment today. While I am happy to be catching up again with my radiation oncologist, I am decidedly conflicted about officially returning to the role of cancer patient. […]
This Week…
Sept. 8, 2022 This week … has been filled with reflection. Sometimes somber, sometimes joyful, always heartfelt. I’ve been thinking a lot about loss lately, specifically about the loss of my parents. And in so doing, I’ve encountered two very different forms of grief. My mother was only two years older than I am now […]
Ennui
June 19, 2022 It’s today’s feeling that I just can’t seem to shake. (I know, I know—ALLOW. ) I don’t want this feeling though. (Which is precisely why I must allow it….) This is the hard work of recognizing, processing, and managing emotions. It occurred to me that this has some relationship with the work […]
Anniversaries–and 10 Tips for Navigating the Cancer Detour
May 2, 2022 This week was the fourth (!) anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. In so many ways it’s hard to believe it’s been that long. The memories of that day and the days, weeks, months, years of treatment and recovery are still fresh. And so much has happened since then. I’ve lost so many […]
Dread
April 10, 2022 Dread. I’m taking a few moments to write this reflective post about my 6 month follow up appointment with my radiation oncology team. Cancer offers one of the biggest mixes of conflicting emotions that I have personally ever encountered. I now understand that these emotions can easily cohabit within your being and […]
A 2022 Respite…and Then, A War
March 30, 2022 A 2022 respite…and then, a war. Another February winter trip to South Carolina, spending three weeks immersed in equestrian life, including the daily care, grooming and feeding of 3 horses (mine and two of my friend’s.) 2 years earlier, during this same three week stretch, COVID-19 reared its ugly head. And we’ve […]
My Fourth (!) Six Month Follow-up Appointment
January 6, 2022 Deep breath. I’m on my way to my fourth follow up appointment following my initial detour into Cancerland in 2018, and two years of active treatment with chemotherapy, surgery, radiation, and targeted therapy. I’m thinking about how many times I’ve made this trip over the past several years to see my surgeon, […]