July 6, 2021 I’m back to being a cancer patient again. That permanent addition to my identity that took shape in 2018. I have often referred to this cancer “journey” as a detour. But the optimistic part of me now sees it as more of a passport—a way of seeing this life through a […]
Unmasked
June 18, 2021 I’m sad. It’s my “new normal”. I’m sad for so many reasons, it’s hard to keep track of them all. It’s been a season filled with death and disability. But in the midst of the sometimes overwhelming sadness, I still feel hope. And a heightened appreciation for the special moments of joy. […]
Grief
June 8, 2021 Grief strikes again. I’ve recently been a witness to the grief of a wife for her husband. Now it’s my grief. Because of what my husband, my other half for the last 32 years, and I are dealing with. He is newly diagnosed with Parkinson’s. A neurodegenerative disorder without a cure. Grief […]
Hugs
May 13, 2021 I had almost forgotten the glory of heartfelt spontaneous (versus potentially dangerous?!) hugs. I admittedly have broken the hug rules on occasion during COVID—but only with my spouse and our two adult children. I feel like cancer gave me a permission slip to do this. We did not hug our son (due […]
Life and Loss in Cancerland
May 7, 2021 May 2, 2021 marked the third anniversary of my Stage III cancer diagnosis. May 2, 1925 was my dad’s birthday. So these two events, my cancerversary and my dad’s birthday, are inextricably linked (at least as long as I am alive😉). On May 3, 2021, one of my awesome partners in Cancerland, […]
End of Life
April 26/27, 2021 Today I sit at my friends’ house, as one member of a small support crew of family and friends who are individually serving as caregivers for our mutual friend who is facing the end of his life from metastatic cancer. A week ago, his father died. A healthy 70 year old until […]
Vaccination!
April 18,2021 Today I will receive my second vaccine for COVID-19. It feels like a huge milestone. Finding my way to a vaccine has been fraught with challenges. But my second dose will be completed today, and in 2 more weeks I will be able to reunite in person (!) with my brother and sister […]
Another Week of Highs and Lows
March 31, 2021 Where to begin this latest blog? I know I’m working hard to even begin to process my emotions when I can’t find the wherewithal to write about what I’m experiencing. Hence, the gap in blog posts. But now I am once again on the other side, and the words are coming more […]
A Healing Respite-2021
March 5, 2021 A truly welcome respite…in February 2021. A year into the pandemic. The longest of the winter months. Holidays over, settling into the winter rhythms of chilly air, falling snow, and continued early darkness. With one big caveat: the privilege of an annual escape for the past several years to Aiken, SC with […]
Reflections: One of the Saddest Moments of My Life
January 21, 2021 The saddest moment of my life was the day my own mother was diagnosed with cancer. It was the beginning of the end of her time here on earth, and her biggest worry was not about herself, but about the impact her illness would have on her family—her father, her two brothers […]
6 Month Follow-up Oncology Visit
January 6, 2021 9:00 am Deep breath. Here I sit, waiting to see my oncologist for my “routine” follow up visit. The first follow up after a year and a half of treatment was 6 months ago in June 2020—first via telehealth, delayed by 3 months due to the Coronavirus pandemic, then an in-person […]
Cancer in 2020; Reflections
January 3, 2021 The COVID-19 pandemic has been with us now for nearly a year. (Just seems like forever so far…) It has been, and continues to be, quite a journey. Filled with losses large and small. Challenging humans, systems, and public health agencies and health systems across the globe while demanding a level of […]