October 4, 2022 Today feels heavy… I’m sitting with my emotions as I wait for the train that will take me to my radiation oncology follow up appointment today. While I am happy to be catching up again with my radiation oncologist, I am decidedly conflicted about officially returning to the role of cancer patient. […]

Sept. 8, 2022 This week … has been filled with reflection. Sometimes somber, sometimes joyful, always heartfelt. I’ve been thinking a lot about loss lately, specifically about the loss of my parents. And in so doing, I’ve encountered two very different forms of grief. My mother was only two years older than I am now […]

June 19, 2022 It’s today’s feeling that I just can’t seem to shake. (I know, I know—ALLOW. ) I don’t want this feeling though. (Which is precisely why I must allow it….) This is the hard work of recognizing, processing, and managing emotions. It occurred to me that this has some relationship with the work […]

May 2, 2022 This week was the fourth (!) anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. In so many ways it’s hard to believe it’s been that long. The memories of that day and the days, weeks, months, years of treatment and recovery are still fresh. And so much has happened since then. I’ve lost so many […]

April 10, 2022 Dread. I’m taking a few moments to write this reflective post about my 6 month follow up appointment with my radiation oncology team. Cancer offers one of the biggest mixes of conflicting emotions that I have personally ever encountered. I now understand that these emotions can easily cohabit within your being and […]

January 6, 2022 Deep breath. I’m on my way to my fourth follow up appointment following my initial detour into Cancerland in 2018, and two years of active treatment with chemotherapy, surgery, radiation, and targeted therapy. I’m thinking about how many times I’ve made this trip over the past several years to see my surgeon, […]

January 1, 2022 Different. But still mostly celebratory. Some old traditions maintained. Some new ones added. And still a surprisingly last minute massive flurry of activity to be ready for all of it!! It’s been a year of immense loss. 8 family members and friends who are no longer here with us. And it’s the […]

December 7, 2021 Suffering, it seems to me, is the foundation for gratitude. My own suffering, as it turns out, has allowed me to become a better receiver of care and compassion as well as a giver—and to be grateful for all of it! Along the way of this life I’ve learned a lot about […]

November 20, 2021 More Loss—and Unexpected Gifts And this month, the loss of my mother’s brother to cancer. 2021 is turning out to be the year of the greatest number of family member/ friend losses in one year in my own lifetime. My uncle was one of the kindest men I have ever known. He […]

October 26, 2021 For some reason this week, I found myself taking a LONG backward glance at parts of my life—-a life that was brought into much sharper focus when I faced down my own cancer diagnosis and all the assorted physical and emotional effects that are fellow travelers. One thing I have really struggled […]

October 6, 2021 “Sometimes the most important thing in a day is the rest between two deep breaths.” -Etty Hillesum That is where I am trying to be right now. In between two deep breaths…. It’s Pinktober again (!) as well as the three year anniversary of my official departure from the professional workforce following […]