April 10, 2022 Dread. I’m taking a few moments to write this reflective post about my 6 month follow up appointment with my radiation oncology team. Cancer offers one of the biggest mixes of conflicting emotions that I have personally ever encountered. I now understand that these emotions can easily cohabit within your being and […]

January 6, 2022 Deep breath. I’m on my way to my fourth follow up appointment following my initial detour into Cancerland in 2018, and two years of active treatment with chemotherapy, surgery, radiation, and targeted therapy. I’m thinking about how many times I’ve made this trip over the past several years to see my surgeon, […]

January 1, 2022 Different. But still mostly celebratory. Some old traditions maintained. Some new ones added. And still a surprisingly last minute massive flurry of activity to be ready for all of it!! It’s been a year of immense loss. 8 family members and friends who are no longer here with us. And it’s the […]

December 7, 2021 Suffering, it seems to me, is the foundation for gratitude. My own suffering, as it turns out, has allowed me to become a better receiver of care and compassion as well as a giver—and to be grateful for all of it! Along the way of this life I’ve learned a lot about […]

November 20, 2021 More Loss—and Unexpected Gifts And this month, the loss of my mother’s brother to cancer. 2021 is turning out to be the year of the greatest number of family member/ friend losses in one year in my own lifetime. My uncle was one of the kindest men I have ever known. He […]

October 26, 2021 For some reason this week, I found myself taking a LONG backward glance at parts of my life—-a life that was brought into much sharper focus when I faced down my own cancer diagnosis and all the assorted physical and emotional effects that are fellow travelers. One thing I have really struggled […]

October 6, 2021 “Sometimes the most important thing in a day is the rest between two deep breaths.” -Etty Hillesum That is where I am trying to be right now. In between two deep breaths…. It’s Pinktober again (!) as well as the three year anniversary of my official departure from the professional workforce following […]

September 18, 2021 This might be the day it all hits home. Another loss of a long time family member…on a day of national mourning, September 11…after helping to shepherd him through hospice care along with his devoted immediate family members, it has all caught up with me. The loss of so many extended family […]

Sept. 1, 2021 I wish… I haven’t written for a while now. So many things swirling around me…joyful and somber all rolled together in some novel, unlikely recipe…sometimes I’m the dough and sometimes I’m the rolling pin….the crust on a stew of mixed emotions… A 95th birthday family celebration for my father in law and […]

July 6, 2021 I’m back to being a cancer patient again. That permanent addition to my identity that took shape in 2018. I have often referred to this cancer “journey” as a detour. But the optimistic part of me now sees it as more of a passport—a way of seeing this life through a new […]

June 18, 2021 I’m sad. It’s my “new normal”. I’m sad for so many reasons, it’s hard to keep track of them all. It’s been a season filled with death and disability. But in the midst of the sometimes overwhelming sadness, I still feel hope. And a heightened appreciation for the special moments of joy. […]